What my parents taught me about SEX

2008-09-07T17:52:00.002-04:00

How much of the obsession with sex is because it is the forbidden fruit? If we were able to talk about it more would we be less obsessed with it? I know in my personal life I found that to be true. When you begin talking about it openly and comfortably it becomes less of a mystery and less desirable because it is no longer the forbidden fruit.

What are your thoughts?

No Shame

2008-08-18T21:46:00.003-04:00

As a single dad of two teenage daughters, I have no shame left. I have taken them shopping for make-up, clothing, bras and panties, tampons and pads and the list goes on. None of this bothers me. In fact, Nora the "bra-master" at JC Penny commented that they don't make men like me anymore. I don't tell you that to brag, I actually think it is a shame. My daughters and I are very comfortable talking about all these things. We even talk about body parts, such as a penis and vagina.... and yes, we actually say those words! We also talk about sex. Was it always this way? I'm afraid not. What changed it? I decided to focus on what was truly important. Building a relationship with my kids is number one! I want my kids to talk to me about these things, but the key is, I have to be even more comfortable talking about it than they are! So I am. You really can't embarrass me in these areas.

What about you?

1 out of 4

2008-03-12T20:42:00.002-04:00

Today on NPR I heard that a recent statistic revealed that one out of four teenager girls has a STD. Half of all African American teen girls have a STD.

I'd love to hear your comments on this.

we talked about it

2008-03-01T18:44:00.002-05:00

My partner and I had a nice chat with my two Jr Highers about sex the other day. This was after my last post about the school meeting that was held. We discussed what is sex, what isn't sex, what can happen from various sexual activities, etc. It was great conversation and happened very naturally.

Perhaps you don't feel comfortable with these types of conversations.... GET COMFORTABLE!

Its a matter of life and death!

let's talk about it

2008-02-22T08:37:00.004-05:00

Recently I had the opportunity to go with my two Jr. Highers to a presentation at school about STD's and making healthy sexual choices. I must commend Concord Community Schools for providing this program to the students and their caregivers. I'm very happy that they are willing to talk about these things.

Overall I was somewhat pleased with the information presented. But I did leave disappointed in what was NOT presented. I found out later, after communicating with the school ,that the presentation was a part of the current curriculum which encourages abstinence and monogamy. The purpose of the presentation was to encourage additional communication on these subjects once the kids got home. It definitely did do that for me. I was disturbed by the absence of so much important information. I wondered how many parents could even talk intelligently about these things. Here are some points that I think every child/parent should discuss:

what constitutes sexual activity?

Can you get STD's from just physical touch?

Once you get an STD is it safe to have sex with someone else with the same STD?

What can and cannot a condom do?

What does birth control protect you from?

How do you know if your partner has been abstinent or monogamous?

What about oral sex? is it safer for the receiver than the giver?

What about homosexuality? What sexual activities are associated with homosexuality?

and the list goes on.......

HPV - Your Opinion please

2008-01-18T14:56:00.000-05:00

How do you feel about girls getting the vacination for HPV? Do you feel like it somehow gives a permision to have sex? Do you feel it gives some false sense of security about sexual behavior?

Pop Culture and Sex

2008-01-11T07:04:00.000-05:00

How much of our view of sex is formed by pop culture? Does music and entertainment really impoact our views and feelings about sex? What do you think? I'd like to hear your opinion.

ladies, let's hear from you

2008-01-08T20:59:00.000-05:00

If you are female, how do you handle it when you get unwanted "attention" from men who are disrespectful or inappropriate in their comments or behaviors around you?

2008

2008-01-02T08:54:00.000-05:00

Its 2008, time to TALK. Don't let another year go by without becoming more comfortable with those "uncomfortable" subjects. How? TALK ABOUT IT. That's the only way. The only reason you are uncomfortable talking about it is because you were taught to be uncomfortable talking about it. Make 2008 the year to TALK about it!

Boys like boys

2007-12-17T22:11:00.000-05:00

My jr. high daughter told me that two boys got in trouble last week at school for making out in the hallway. I asked her if they had been a boy and a girl if would still have gotten in trouble? I was relieved to hear that yes, the "crime" was making out in the school and had nothing to do with it being a same sex couple. However it made me wonder what the parents or guardians of those boys have been teaching them about sex. I wonder what their parent's response was when they found out just why the boys had gotten in trouble that day. Hmmmm, I wonder. I remember what was going on in my mind at 13 and 14. I may have appeared quite unaffected by the world around me, but there was quite a sexual storm brewing inside of me. I can't help but think that the response these boys get from the adults in their lives will have MUCH to do with their sexual maturity in the next few years.

Are you a parent of a gay child? Find support from others at www.dailystrength.org

How about this angle?

2007-12-12T20:50:00.000-05:00

I'm wondering.... how comfortable are you talking about sex with your parents? Doesn't really matter how old you are or how old they are, how comfortable are YOU? As open as I am with my own children about sex, I'll be the first to admit that I would NOT be comfortable talking to my parents about anything sexual. It would certainly be a taboo topic. Please leave me your comments.

Take time to vote too.

The P word and the V word

2007-12-10T00:01:00.000-05:00

The other day I used the word "penis" during a conversation with my son and daughter. The comment was made that a close relative of theirs wouldn't have liked me using that word. Hmmmm, that got me thinking.... did your parents use correct terms like penis and vagina or did they have some slang term for those body parts? Wouldn't it be strange if we were afraid to call our arms, "arms"? What if we made a name like, "wavers" for them and used that name instead? Doesn't that sound absurd? Of course it does. So why do we avoid the use of penis and vagina like it is some kind of "bad" word?

Tell me what words you parents used or didn't use and why.

What about Abstinence?

2007-12-08T17:35:00.000-05:00

Did your parents teach you "abstinence only"? How did that work for you? I'd like to hear your comments.

PLEASE TAKE PART IN THE POLL

2007-12-06T09:18:00.000-05:00

Notice the poll off to the right there on the side? Please participate in this poll, its quick, easy and painless. (sounds like sex sometimes. lol)

I want to hear your comments

2007-11-30T08:38:00.000-05:00

Right now I'm researching this topic for a book that I am working on. I would LOVE to hear your story, comments and questions. Please take a moment and post them here on the blog. You don't have to include your identity if you aren't comfortable with that. I just want to hear as many stories as possible. Even if you parents taught you NOTHING, they actually taught you SOMETHING by not even approaching the subject. What was it?

Maybe it wasn't your parents, but it was some other person who taught you about sex.

Take a moment and tell me about it.

Thanks!

That's it?!

2007-11-28T17:06:00.000-05:00

One of my daughter's 13 year old friends recently told her that the only thing his parents have said about sex is "Don't have sex." and "Don't you be gettin' her pregnant!"

And then we wonder why kids have problems with sex.